My Day

I originally was going to call this post My Day, but my day swiftly morphed into That Was The Week That Was.

Back in the Stone Age, you know in the days before Kennedy was President, back in Ohio, in the Cleveland Press was a column written by Elenore Roosevelt called My Day. I never read it because when I was real young, I didn't know who Elenore Roosevelt was. Later on, when I knew who she was, I didn't care at all about her day. But I liked the title. Old Elenore sure was ugly, but she may have actually been the first, modern day, blogger.

If you are over forty, you may know what TWTWTW is. It was a weekly British television show with David Frost that looked at the weeks news in a humorous vein.

Mine was a doosey.

On Friday, I realized that my registration had expired on my BRT, Big Red Truck. I called the AAA and got a recording saying that they were open on Saturday from 9 to 2 PM. I headed over the next morning only to find a notice Scotch Taped to the window advising that they, AAA, were closed on that holiday weekend Saturday. Of course they were also closed on Monday to commemorate the Fourth of July.

Tuesday I returned with all pertinent paperwork in hand to surrender my hard-earned cash to The State. My membership had expired for non-payment. OK, I knew that. Go stand in the casher's line to surrender more cash to the AAA. After patiently waiting in line, the afore mentioned cashier informed me I first had to go see some other paper-pusher. After waiting to see Paper-Pusher 2, I coughed up $65+. Line three was to effect the actual registration renewal process. After hemorrhaging $300+ I was told that the BRT needed a new smog check at a test only facility. I now dutifily drove to the smog tester and shelled out another $67 for the check. Guess what, it failed. Bad O2 sensor. Off to AutoZone to buy a new O2 sensor. Which one asked the guy behind the counter. Some vehicles can have up to ten. The BRT only has two and we figured out that I needed the post catalytic converter sensor. $65. Of course you need a special $25 socket to change it. AutoZone will actually loan you the special socket. Just leave a $25 deposit. Return it intact and you get your 25 bucks back. Changing the sensor was relativity easy, almost too easy. This is not a good sign. Started up the motor, oh crap the Check Engine is still lighted. Think, think hard. Maybe the on-board computer needs to be reset. How the hell does some guy from Cleveland with limited resources do that? Try removing the positive battery cable, IE unplugging the freaking thing. Go take a tinkle in the head and by then, it should have dumped whatever the hell it had on it's evil little mind. Aha!!! It looks like that actually worked. I drive back to Smog R Us for my free retest. Mr. Smog asks me if I had driven the BRT for "a few miles". I did. He hooks up the umbilical cord and advises that I probably haven't driven it enough yet because all of the codes haven't reset it yet. I need to put on at least seventy five miles. Hither and Yon I drive. Instead of taking the shortest possible route, I take the long way.

Wednesday I go back to Bellflower Smog #3 to get the damned truck a clean bill of health. First the computer won't speak to the BRT's On Board Diagnostic (OBD2) computer. Then their computer lock up and everybody at BS#3 starts swearing and bitching about getting a tech in to fix things.

Thursday I call BS#3. Tech been in yet? No? When?

Friday, no tech yet. I'm getting pissed. I got a truck with expired registration and if the computer at BS#3 won't talk, I want to take it to BS#1 or #2. After bit of double talk and excuse making they finally agree. I go to the Cyprus facility and Mason the courteous and obliging tech there plugs the BRT into his computer. It won't sync up. Now I'm really screwed. What the hell do I do now? My OBD2 isn't talking to the outside world. About that time, some guy from Jiffy Lube comes in on other business. Mason explains that we're having communication problems and that he doesn't know what to do now. Mr. Jiffy Lube offers his little hand-held diagnostic reader to see what that tells us. We trek over to JL and the handheld not only communicates, but it also tells us that there are no fault codes being displayed. Hmm, maybe all is not lost yet. I head for the marina and as I approach Seal Beach, I get an idea. I stop at the smog test shop located in the ARCO station and talk to some guy named Al.

I tell Al all about my problem and ask him if he will hook up his machine and see if it will talk to the BRT's OBD2. If it will, I will gladly pay for a second smog test just to get this nightmare over. He agrees. It talks, but he can't do the test today. But he can tomorrow and they open at eight AM. I'll be there at 7:59.